A Place to Connect Teachers and Support Children

Archive for the ‘Becky Bailey’ Category

Cozy areas at home

One of the most common questions I have from parents during conferences is the topic of guidance. Often times, I share with families various techniques and ways for families to adopt these new techniques at home. I not only use these techniques with families and in my classroom, but I also use these same techniques at home. I have the pleasure of being a mom to a one and a half-year old. As my daughter started nearing her first birthday I knew I wanted to use all of the techniques I had learned over my teaching career with her. One of the most important ideas I knew I wanted to recreate at home was a cozy area.

When a child is older we encourage the child to be a part of setting this whole process up as much as possible. I began to reflect about how could my daughter be a part of this process at such a young age. I completely believe that I am building her a foundation for self-regulation and understanding of her own feelings, but also knew that I would have to present the materials and techniques in  a different manner than I would with older children.  I began the process of creating a cozy area at home by purchasing frames that she could paint on that wood.  She decorated four frames. Two frames have sign language (we are teaching her sign language) stop and help.  The other two have two house rules we made. We then added soft items to the area including a large stuffed animal, a small pillow, and a large pillow covered in a soft blanket.  Beside the pictures are emotion faces. When an incident occurs, we point out the emotion and sign the emotion word as well. Under all of this is a basket with feelings books , two stuffed animals, and my daughters “blankie”.

As we began to set up the area we added a few items at a time so that our daughter could explore each of the items before it was all ready. We then did a lot of teaching about the items as they were added. We also did some role-playing as well. Once it was officially set up we began to use it. Any time our daughter was upset we would offer the opportunity to go into that area to as we call it “calm your body”. We continued this for several weeks and she would start to use it even when she was scared of loud sounds. We have now had our area up for about four months. She uses it often and also encourages her stuffed animals and me and my husband to use it as well.  When she comes out from calming her body we ask her if she is ready sometimes she will say no and returning by herself to her cozy area. When she is ready she returns and we talk about whatever the reason that sent her to the cozy area.  We might be talking about scary noises, feeling over excited, feeling mad, and/or sad.  Below are pictures of ours cozy area.

photo 2 (7)

20140101-094434.jpg If you have created a cozy area at home, tell us about it.  What worked? Didn’t work? What questions do you have?

Cozy Area

One of the options to help children who are feeling over stimulated, sad, angry, or just need some quiet time is a cozy area.  In our classroom, the cozy area is tucked under the stairs of our classroom loft.  The children can bring a blanket or stuffed animal here if they need that to help  calm their bodies.  The area is in an area which is in a spot that does not have a lot of traffic.  The area is protected by staff and other children for children to have the opportunity to have this time.  Often times, when I am having a long day/week, I set time aside for myself to relax.  This may be taking time for me by reading a book, taking a warm shower/bath, or going to bed early.  This space is designed for children to be able to take time for themselves as an adult would and relax and/or calm before returning to their room and peers.

In my classroom (a three, four, and five-year old room), we use a tool called ECERS-R which stands for the Early Childhood Environmental Rating Scale-Revised.  The rating scale is composed of 43 parts and two of the 43 parts is a discussion about space and private areas for children.  The section labeled “space for privacy” reads that a “high quality program would have more than one space” available for children. Spaces for privacy include areas where children have the opportunity to work alone or with one other person.  In our classroom, we have spaces like this around the room including the computer, the provocation (a table designed to spark children’s interest about an item and sketching, scientific inquiry, and conversations can occur) table, the reading area, and a large adult sized chair by the children’s cubbies.  These are all spaces our children can gravitate to if they need some time to themselves or with only one other friend. According to ECERS-R, “the soft furnishings in the cozy area must allow a child to completely escape the hardness of a typical early childhood classroom.”  Our cozy area is equipped with a bean bag, stuffed animals that are nearby, a chart developed by Dr. Becky Bailey which offers children an opportunity to identify their emotions and which technique they will use to calm their bodies, and books nearby if a child needs those to calm their body.

As new children come to our room, we model and teach about the areas available to the children.  Children who have been in our program before also teach the new children how to use the areas as well as checking on them as they begin to feel better.

Do you have one in your classroom? If so, what is in this area and how do the children use it?

Stay tuned as I will share how to make a cozy area at home next time I blog!

Until next time,


Building our family

As we begin to build our new classroom family, we begin by getting to know each other. We share our photo books (each child is given one at a home visit prior to them starting in our classroom), talk about our families, compare our likes and dislikes, and talk about how we can create this bond. Yesterday, we talked about ways to care for each other. The children created a list of ways that showed caring towards each other.

At nap, I heard a voice saying, “We are a Leapfrog family here. So I am saying Good Night. I love you and I will rub your back until the lights go out.”


Taking the lead

A child decided to lead a small group before nap today. They read a story and then gave any child who wanted an I Love You Ritual before bed time. Now that is what I call classroom community! Click on the words classroom community to learn more about I Love You Rituals.

photo (6)

To do this one at home:

  • Ask your child to put their hand in front of you showing all of their five fingers and having them spread them apart.
  • Point to each finger and say the child’s name or as our child enjoy each person in their family (sometimes pets too!)
  • finish the rhyme by squeezing their hand and saying a positive remark such as, I love you! Good Night! I’m so glad your you (or here today!)!


The beauty of the I Love You Rituals is they can be tailored to you, your family, and your classroom!





As I read the first chapter, entitled Composure, I thought it was most beneficial in my note taking and in my head to organize the principles and the skills together in order to better understand the overview of the chapter and the expectations I needed for myself and for the children.

  • Principle One: Composure is self-control in action it is a prerequisite skill adults need before disciplining children
  • Principle Two: Healthy Secure relationships require that we control our own upset. No one can make us angry without our permission.
  • Principle Three: Start the day with the brain smart way and implement stress reduction.
  • Principle Four: Your job is to keep the classroom safe so can children learn.  The child’s job is to help keep it safe.
  • Skill One: Changing trigger thoughts to calming thoughts.
  • Skill Two: Reduce Stress

I felt it was important for me to reflect on what each of these looked like when I was teaching in the classroom on a daily basis.  I felt like if I could see what I was modeling for the children  and what I needed to work on then I could help focus my attention on my staff and my students.  I began by looking at each child and finding strength and a weakness in the child.  It is important to know and support the child’s success which can then help support the weakness.  For example, if a child loves to write and needs extra guidance when it comes to their feelings.  The child could sketch and write words based on the feelings they are having.

As part of this chapter, Dr. Bailey shares it is important to have an activity in the routine that unites the children, disengages the children from the last activity or stress level from a previous problem, connect the children to the new scenario, and prepare to learn!  We spent time disengaging from our play time and preparing for group by streching and taking deep breaths.  The children have not let me forget this routine at every group since we have started in September!

Seven Basic Skills of Discpline

Last time, we talked about the seven powers which are described in detail in Dr. Becky Bailey’s book, Conscious discipline.  From these powers, then emerge the seven basic skills of discipline.  These skills are each of the seven chapters of the books and will slowly be outlined over the course of the next few months.  I will shared direct quotes from the text as well as ways we have implemented it and made it our own in our classroom.

The seven skills are:

  1. Composure: Becoming the person you want children to be
  2. encouragement: Building a school family
  3. Assertiveness: saying “no” and being heard
  4. Choices: Building self-esteem and willpower
  5. Positive Intent: creating teaching moments
  6. Empathy: Handling the fussing and the fits
  7. Consequences: Helping children learn from their mistakes

Dr. Bailey also discusses in her book that these skills then filter and support the Life Values and Social Skills.  One of the wonderful things about Dr. Bailey books is that her techniques are all practical and build the foundation for another life process or skill.  Below are the seven life values and social skills!  I hope I have enticed you enough to get the books!

Life Values                                                                                                                 Social Skills

  1. Integrity                                                                                                               1. Anger management
  2. interdependence                                                                                                2. Helpfulness
  3. respect                                                                                                                  3. Assertiveness
  4. empowerment                                                                                                     4. Impulse Control
  5. diversity                                                                                                                5. Cooperation
  6. compassion                                                                                                          6. Empathy
  7. responsibility                                                                                                       7. Problem Solving

I can try to teach you all I have learned through this book but it is not the same as actually owning the text.  Dr. Bailey lays it out in a way where you have activities to do, scenarios to look for to use as teachable moments, ideas to practice, reflections, commitments, and facts.  Consider buying this book and following the blog and sharing your ideas.

Conscious Discipline

The last and definitely not final book that I am reading of Dr. Becky Bailey’s is called Conscious Discipline.  Click the title to visit her site dedicated to the Conscious Discipline program as well as her other materials.  This book is more geared towards teachers but can be applied at home in various ways.  I have not finished reading the book but have taken notes, highlighted, began trying some techniques and ideas in the classroom.  I feel with every book of hers that you can read her work over and over again and still learn from it.

Conscious Disciplines goal is to empower both teachers and children!  The book is built on three major ideas including: controlling and changing ourselves is possible and has profound impact on others, connectedness governs behavior, and a conflict is an opportunity to teach.

The program empowers teachers with the Seven Powers for Self Control:

  • Power of Perception: no one can make you mad without your permission
  • Power of Unity: we are all in this together
  • Power of Attention: What you focus on you get more of
  • Power of Free Will: The only person you can make change is yourself
  • Power of Love: See the best in others
  • Power of Acceptance: The moment is as it is
  • Power of Intention: Conflict is an opportunity to teach

Take a long look at these items.  I want you to reflect on these items.  You can reflect on this blog, email me personally, share with a friend/colleague/family member, or write it down.  Begin with one, make a small attainable goal, and begin to work towards it.  Please let me know about your journey!

There’s Got to be a Better Way: Discpline that Works

As I shared in my last post, I began by journey with Becky Bailey by reading her first book, I Love you Rituals.  For more information on the previous post, click here.

The next book, I began reading is There’s Got to be a Better Way: Discpline that works.  One of the things I love about Becky Bailey and her work is that she believes learning these techniques is a learning process for both the children and the adult.  She believes it is a process that needs to be read about, reflected upon, attempted, reflected upon again, and perfected in order to make the techniques and strategies work.  I believe, like Dr. Bailey, that it is important to teach the children the expecations.

During a training on a guidance that I went to, the speaker shared “if a child did not know how to read, you teach them.  If a child doesn’t know how to do math, you teach them.  If a child misbehaves you….”  We were then asked why is it so difficult to finish that statement?  A child is learning their surroundings, the expecations, and their own autonomy.  As an adult and especially a teacher, we need to take each moment and use it as a teachable moment.

Click on the link below to learn about an overview of the text via powerpoint.  Please feel free to ask questions, share what you have done if you have studied Dr. Bailey, and/or try it out and let us know how it goes!

There’s got to be a Better Way: Discpline that Works

My Journey with Dr. Bailey

I began teaching at the Children’s Campus in December of 2007.  Prior to becoming a certified teacher, I spent my college years being what we call a “student worker” in all of the five classrooms.  This means I had the wonderful opportunity to meet families, children, and teachers which served our birth to five year old population.  Through my experiences in each classroom and three years later, I learned so much and was able to take this to my student teaching placement as well as when I began downstairs in my classroom.  Through one of my interactions with a family, they mentioned that when I had my own classroom I would be very interested in learning about Becky Bailey and her techniques.

As part of our way to stay current and make sure that all of the members of our St. Ambrose University Children’s Campus become life-long learners, we each have goals that we maintain and learn from over the course of the year.  After learning hands-on my first year, it was time for me to meet with my director and choose my goal.  I knew automatically that Becky Bailey would be something I would need to study.  Thus begins my journey!

I began by reading, I Love You Rituals.   This book inspired me to begin to bring a sense of community with our children as well as began to observe more closely the rituals the children were creating with their families as well as with us, the teachers.  The first 56 pages describe the importance of I love you rituals, benefits, ways to begin, and also makes the reader reflect on their prior beliefs and current feelings.  The rest of the book contains I love you rituals.  I believe this book is a must have for parents and for educators.  Despite the age range of your children!

Four Goals:

  • Goal One: I Love You Rituals optimize your child’s brain for success at school and in life.
  • Goal Two: I Love You Rituals increase your learning potential and effectiveness through touch.
  • Goal Three: I Love You Rituals create loving rituals that hold families together even through the roughest times
  • Goal Four: I Love You Rituals strengthen the bond between adults and children that insulate children form drugs, violence, and peer pressure laying the foundation for mental and emotional health


  • Routines encourage attention span and cooperation
  • Routines are everywhere and children thrive on them
  • Builds relationships
  • Control over the environment
  • Responsiveness is increased
  • Language
  • Social interactions/turn taking
  • Feedback to our brain

Have I enticed you yet??  Pick up a copy today!  Please post your success stories with this process from an educator and/or parent stand point.

Tag Cloud